Tim Lincecum’s Mustache’s Regular Season Debut
Today, Tim Lincecum’s Mustache made its regular season debut, appearing atop Tim Linecum’s lips in the Giants’ game against the Diamondbacks.
But while Lincecum lasted 6 innings, giving up four runs while striking out seven, what did the mustache contribute? Here is its line:
- 6 innings of existence
- 28 beads of sweat captured
- 13 flecks of Cheetoh dust held onto
- 3 stray hairs that slipped into Lincecum’s mouth while drinking, leading to an “eww, gross.”
- 37 tweets per second regarding enjoyment of mustache
- 43 tweets per second regarding disgust of mustache
- 2,700 future lovers engaged
- 1 fraternity pledged
- 19.5% cool factor
- 8 batters mesmerized
But the question on everyone’s mind: will Lincecum’s mustache dominate the news cycle this year the way Jonny Gomes and Mike Napoli’s beards did last year? Tune in next week to find out.
The Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock tour is back … and so is the chorus of disappointed woman metal fans who feel they deserve better. At what point does does embracing and celebrating one’s sexuality go from empowering to exploitative? Do you think it is fair to condemn the women who choose to take part?
Ugh … speaking of A Little Bit Better! I reject reducing music to sex and reducing people to sex. There is nothing wrong WITH sex, but it’s only a very small part of a whole identity and, as a physiological function, makes as much sense to define people and art with as “Chicks Who Poop Good Tour.” (I’m really hoping that one takes off!) I would also reject “Chicks That Kick Ass” even though that, at least, implies some kind of talent beyond good genes. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it until everybody gets it: Gender is not a genre. Theme tours based around femaleness are awful, to me, because they reinforce the TOTALLY WRONG AND SILLY idea that “female” is a legitimate genre or quantifier of creative style.
Though well-intentioned, I dislike all-woman tours and fests run by feminists for their focus on gender, too. I don’t want a “special place” in the world. I want a human-sized piece of the general space.
Photo: F. Mullin
i have three moods
and thats pretty much all of the Cacophony section on Marty’s site. You probably already knew that but still valid additions to my blog
Jason, Marty LOL
i feel safe knowin members like this are workin in the FBI
Please signal boost this
for all my fans
Miki Berenyi (Lush)
Something moves in the shadows, unseen, hidden from our sight
Wrestling is real and I will die for this